There’s an uneasiness growing within me. With each passing day, life feels increasingly colorless. I no longer recognize myself—nor can I fully describe or understand what I feel. I keep moving forward like a machine, simply because that’s what life and society demand of me.
I feel disconnected—from myself, and by extension, from the world around me. There are only a few days when I truly know what I’m doing. Right now, maybe not even that.
When I first arrived at college, it felt like a fresh start—a new beginning I deeply needed. But now, that beginning feels more like a curse than a blessing. Career and love—two essential dimensions of life—have revealed their true weight. I understand now that ambition, passion, and labor give us reasons to live. They create the illusion of purpose. So yes, I must work, and I must build my skills to survive. But the more I observe myself following this college’s curriculum—day after day, without joy—the more I realize how deeply broken our education system is.
These institutions are no longer nurturing minds. They are manufacturing slaves—machines stripped of humanity. Dead souls stuck in a loop, unable to escape the behaviors they've been conditioned to follow. That’s what this system is doing to us.
This fractured society doesn't feel worth belonging to. I know I’m a broken person, and the other parts of my life are also unbalanced. Perhaps it will be hard to mend them, because I’ve unconsciously taken many wrong turns. True healing demands a deep connection with oneself—but how can that be found within an institution that suppresses self-awareness?
I see classrooms full of students who show up just for attendance. Why do you think so many engineering students skip class? It’s not because they’re lazy. It’s because something is missing—something vital. The teaching is failing. The system is failing.
We are becoming sheep, herded and hollowed out. I am tired—frustrated by all of it. I just hope something good happens. That I can adapt to this decay—not by accepting it, but by surviving it—so that one day, I might heal.
